Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
