He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
