the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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