he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
