So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
