the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
