Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
