I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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