I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
