he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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