no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
