They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
