just come out here and I will go home with you...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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