why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
