it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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