i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
