Plan B is the new Plan A
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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