What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
