Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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