Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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