Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
