i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
whose parrot is this?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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