dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
