YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Your penis caused this!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
