Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
