I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
