I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
