Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
