so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
