Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
