Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize