he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
last night I used snow as a chaser
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
