Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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