He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
