there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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