i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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