The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
