hell yes lets make some ravioli
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
