Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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