But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
