i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
