I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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