He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
