no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
