wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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