omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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