All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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