we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
