I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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