i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
