he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
