If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
