I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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