You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize