I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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