So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
