Whod you bang
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
