you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
