The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
